I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
