enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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