but the lizard people decide everything anyway
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You pole danced in your parka.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
