i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
