you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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