She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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