Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
