The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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