I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
