I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
