Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
