I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Fuck appropriateness.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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