Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
