I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
