Betty ford says i'm here all night
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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