You're a womanizer and a bitch.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
