strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
