my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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