I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
did you just send me my own nude
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
