My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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