i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
