So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
