ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
