i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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