whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
