The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
