lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
