so explain again why im purple
no
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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