Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
