I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
