i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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