I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
