I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
