We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
