I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
