next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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