i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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