Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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