Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
