I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
