update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i think my cat just said my name.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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