She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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