What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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