I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
