I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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