Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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