grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
