I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Randomize
