Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
