i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
